Remembering My Dad 20 Years Later

I’d like to tell you about my dad.

Young dad
My dad with his parents in the early 1960s

He was born in 1951 as the son of two chiropractors in Big Rapids, MI. He had an awesome childhood traveling the country with his parents, and was especially close to his maternal grandparents in Reed City, MI. He played in his high school band, and was a life-long drummer. I’ve been told he wasn’t much of a music reader, but he could play pretty much anything by ear. Sadly, I didn’t inherit this gift. Leaving the family chiropractic business behind, he decided to focus on music.

goblue
He was also a big Michigan fan. I like to think the GV Lakers would be his favorite DII Football team!

After attending broadcasting school in Wisconsin, he moved back to Michigan where he worked for various radio stations over the years, adopting the radio nickname “Doc”… because he was the Doctor of Rock-N-Roll. Today I’m impressed that my dad was making dad jokes long before I came into the picture. There were even Rock with Doc t-shirts made up for promo giveaways at the time, but sadly I haven’t been able to track one down.

broadcastingdexter
With his best friend Dexter during broadcasting school.

He met my mom when she called into his radio show to request a song in the early 1980s. He thought she sounded nice and wanted to meet her, and the rest is history…

nelson
Mom, dad and I with the hair band Nelson after a concert.

This Sunday marks 20 years since my dad, Zane, passed away. While it’s always a bittersweet time of year – remembering all the amazing things about him, while feeling sadness about all the things we’ve missed without him too – I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that something about this milestone feels especially important. I’m a writer and an external processor, and normally these are the kind of thoughts I’d prefer to keep private. However, I think its important to keep his memory alive.

I keep thinking about how so much has changed in the last 20 years. When my dad was alive, the only Kardashian he’d likely ever heard of was the one who helped acquit OJ Simpson. The internet was in its infancy, and he never even had his own personal email account. He was a long-time DJ and radio personality with a giant collection of records and CDs. He’d have been amazed with the rise and fall of Napster, the digital media revolution helped by iTunes and the iPod, and the ability to have any song at his fingertips through Apple Music or Spotify. Smart phones, Facebook, WiFi, Uber, etc. would probably blow his mind.

grandmas
I took a picture of this picture (me and my dad, his grandma, and his mom) with my iPhone and used auto-sync with Dropbox to upload this to the cloud so I could edit it on my desktop and upload it to my blog. That’s a sentence 1997 wasn’t ready for.

When I think about the last two decades, there have been so many watershed moments in the world. Princess Diana’s death happened just a month before his. The terrorist attacks of 9/11 were only four short year later, spawning the wars and the captures of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden. We elected our first African American president in 2008, and saw a woman take the first ever major party nomination for President in 2016. Harry Potter books hadn’t yet reached the US by September of 1997, and the only reality TV show anyone had ever paid much attention to was The Real World. I even remember being with my dad at the movie theater and seeing a giant Titanic poster, and he said he was excited to see it later around the holidays…

I could spend the rest of my life being bummed out about the things he did and didn’t get to see, do, experience, and feel. However, what I’ve been feeling most lately is gratitude.

photobooth
I keep this in my safe at home. It’s one of the last pictures we took – in a mall photo booth while on vacation in August 1997.

I’m grateful for the moments of time that I had with my dad. I’m grateful for all the times he’d come home from work late to greet me with his signature “Hey buuuuddy!”. I’m grateful for the fun moments we had playing on the carpet as he “attacked me” with THE CLAW (pre-Liar Liar). I’m especially grateful that he and my mom built an amazing childhood for me, and that even though times were especially tough as his health deteriorated, I never saw him as anything but my dad. It always brings a smile to my face to think that he was home to greet me after school for my first few weeks of 4th Grade. He’d make me a snack, and we’d sit on the couch together watching that campy old Batman TV show from the 1960s. He loved it, so I did too.

Fun fact: my favorite soda is Squirt. Super weird. Half my friends have never heard of it or tried it. It’s my favorite. It was my dad’s favorite, too.

There’s lots of other things I’d like to think I learned from my dad. By all accounts, he was a wonderful and fantastic friend. His close friend group has all stayed in touch with my mom and I over the years, and they’ve become great friends of mine in adulthood as well. He treated my mom and his mother and grandmother with love respect, and helped to instill those same values in me toward women and family. If you’ve ever had a sarcastic interaction with me and wondered where I got my sense of humor, I’m told you can thank him for that too. I’m forever grateful that I’ve learned to become a good friend, a good man, and have a good laugh thanks in large part to his influence.

dinosaurs
My shirt says “NOT THE MAMA” – apparently I was a big Dinosaurs fan :)

So, am I going to spend my life dwelling on what could have been with our father/son relationship? Perhaps. But, I think that’s natural. Sometimes it just stings when out of the blue I hear someone talking to their dad on their cell phone, or sending texts back and forth with him. I get a stranger feeling when I hear some people say they don’t talk to their dad for whatever reason, although I understand that lots of people have lots of complicated relationships with their parents. Selfishly, I wish for the ability to have even a complicated relationship with my dad today.

One person I don’t have a complicated relationship with is my mom. She’s one of those people you meet and immediately fall in love with. As a kid, I remember kids asking if they could come play and whether or not my mom was home and if she was going to play too. I could write pages and pages about how selfless, caring, loving, funny, smart, and dedicated she is. I’ll spare you (and her) that by just emphasizing how lucky I am to have her.

You see, she never envisioned that she’d lose the love of her life at only 35 years old, being left to raise a young son on her own. I lost my dad, and she lost her “person”. That’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and she handled it with grace, dignity, and courage. We’ve built such a special bond over the years, and I’m grateful for every moment we share and memory we make. My mom is incredible.

Manistee August 2017
Mom and I in Manistee last month at our family’s “secret spot”

My dad is incredible too. As the 20-year mark of his passing nears, I still miss him every single day. My fingers are trembling at the keyboard as recall and cherish the memories we made, the laughs we shared, and the love we had while he was with us. This weekend, I’ll be spending time with my mom continuing to make more memories, and share more laughter and love. I hope that if you’re able, you can take a chance to call your mom, dad, or another close family member and just let them know how much they mean to you.

Thanks for taking a moment to read a bit about my dad and the lasting impact he’s made on me. I am honored to have the privilege and responsibility of keeping his memory and legacy alive for years to come.

What to Expect at Your First SDCC

This year was my first SDCC, and for a few hours on Thursday afternoon I was convinced it would be my last. I was so lucky to attend the event with my little brother Curtis from my college fraternity and his wife Celeste, who have been attendees for the last several years. I felt like I was going in extra-prepared because of their knowledge and expertise in all things Comic Con. Little did I know, there’s no way to understand it all until you actually get there. Here’s what I learned on my first trip to SDCC:

Getting a Badge

Badges for Comic Con go on sale months in advance of the convention itself through an online lottery system. I had no idea about this until Curtis told me last Fall when I mentioned being interested in going. He let me know two crucial pieces of information. First, in order to even be in the system for the lottery you had to sign up in advance for a free SDCC Member ID. These sign-ups close weeks ahead of the lottery itself, so if you snooze on getting a Member ID you’re out of luck for getting a SDCC badge.

The second thing I learned was that the lottery was no guarantee. People have been trying for YEARS to get a badge with no luck. Curtis helped to manage my expectations. He told me to be online before the lottery room opened, and just try my luck. No refreshing the page (it automatically refreshes), no logging in on multiple browsers (it will cancel your other sessions), and no way to pay a little extra to bypass the lottery. If you were lucky enough, you get in. Simple as that.

On that fateful day in April, luck happened to be on my side. Within about 45 minutes in the online waiting room my browser refreshed me into the ticket purchase page. The “Preview Night” on Wednesday had sold out, but I wasn’t after a badge for Wednesday. I just wanted the four-day badge for Thursday – Sunday and fortunately they were all still available. The price wasn’t astronomical for the badge itself, but there were no refunds and you had to pay in full at the time of purchase. If you wanted to go to SDCC, your mind needed to be made up. Mine was. I was going.

Several weeks before the convention, my badge arrived in the mail in a cool little box, along with a convention pin and a small program book with a few conference tips and rules. You won’t want to forget to pack your badge!

Side note: For returning convention attendees, there are two lottery chances. If you attended last year, there’s a pre-sale lottery similar to the one above. If you don’t make it in during that lottery, you can try your luck again a few weeks or months later during the general lottery. If it all sounds a little complicated, it is.

Hotel Registration

The next hardship you’ll endure is trying to get a hotel. SDCC pretty much takes over the entire city of San Diego, and you can only book hotels through their online system during convention days. Registered attendees enter a hotel lottery and select about 10 hotels they can preference to stay in during their time in San Diego. Two rounds of emails are then sent out with hotel placement confirmations, and a two-night deposit is due up front. Again, no refunds. Be ready to commit. If you’ve ever booked a Priceline Express Deal, imagine the stress of that multiplied by about five.

Curtis, Celeste, and I all tried our luck at entering the hotel lottery. Somehow, all three of us were not placed during the lottery. What to do!? LUCKILY I was sitting in front of my computer when the email came through of our non-placement, and I was able to enter into the free-for-all system to check and see what was leftover after all placements to secure us a room. We actually got into one of our top choice hotels, so I genuinely have no idea why we weren’t placed in either of the two placement rounds. If you’re noticing a theme about “luck” here, expect to keep seeing it. So far, luck had been on my side… but this would not last.

View this post on Instagram

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice #beetlejuice #sdcc

A post shared by Branden Stewart (@brandenstewart) on

PRO TIP: I met three different people with Air BnB horror stories during the convention. They’d all had last minute Air BnB cancellations for various reasons, and were left scrambling to find a bed and a shower during the busiest days of the year. One even camped out with our group on Friday night because he literally had nowhere else to go. So, for my own peace of mind, having a confirmed room in a hotel makes me feel a lot more secure when there are so many other unknowns in the mix. More on that later.

Getting Around

I flew into LAX, because my friends live in LA and we drove down together. I’m assuming it was cheaper than flying directly into San Diego on Wednesday and out Sunday night, but I’m not 100% sure on that. While I can’t really speak for air travel into the city, I can speak to getting around once you’re there.

One of my favorite things about SDCC was that they provided all convention hotels with a shuttle service that runs every 15 minutes from the Convention Center. This meant that if we didn’t want to walk the mile back to our hotel (which after a long day is the LAST thing you want to do), we could take an air-conditioned ride directly from the doors of the convention to our hotel. It was awesome.

I also took a few Uber rides while I was there, and did not experience any surge pricing (somehow!). A one-way from my hotel to the convention center was about $7.00. I only took these rides early in the morning well before programming started to so I could get in line for what I wanted. I’d imagine that during peak convention times, prices would probably sky-rocket.

We parked for $22 a night at the hotel and didn’t move our car once we parked. I saw parking closer to the convention center for north of $60 a day, which was unreal. Almost everything you’d want to attend is within walking distance, so I would recommend finding a cheaper lot and parking instead of trying to fight the crowds and paying the astronomical prices for a close spot.

Bags, Books, and Lanyards

One of the things Curtis told me before coming to California was to expect to get a giant conference bag to put my stuff in. Think of a reusable grocery bag, except taller with shoulder straps. This year the conference bags were sponsored by Warner Bros and featured different shows or movies depending on which time of day you checked in. I received a bag featuring the Lego Ninjago Movie, while Curtis got a Westworld bag and Celeste got a Supergirl one. The bags also came with little superhero pins, so I sported a little Batman guy for a while on my lanyard.

Speaking of lanyards, the convention also gives you one of those when you arrive for your badge. This year’s lanyards were sponsored by AMC’s The Walking Dead, which I could care less about. My first purchase was actually a Spider-Man lanyard in the exhibit hall for $8.00 because if I was going to have to wear my badge for the next four days, I may as well represent my favorite superhero.

Finally, I picked up a convention quick guide which had the daily schedule, maps, and some general info about rules, lines, etc. I noticed some stacks of convention programs, but wasn’t sure if you were supposed to pay for them and they weren’t actively handing them out. I didn’t end up getting one until the last day when I noticed Curtis and Celeste reading theirs, and they were nice enough to give me one because they could just share their own.

When it comes to the bags and lanyards, there’s two important things to be aware of. If you come expecting the bag to hold all of your stuff, be prepared with Plan B. Tons of people’s straps were breaking off the bags, some only moments after receiving theirs. Celeste’s bag strap ripped only a few hours after she got it. The second strap ripped as we were crossing the street at the end of Thursday night, dropping her bag and belongings into the road. I believe the convention did allow you to trade broken bags back in, and by the end of the convention they only had broken bags left to hand out to people coming to pick theirs up.

Regarding pick-up, the line on Thursday morning was huge. I checked it out around 11 am and the line was slow-moving and very long to pick up bag and lanyard. I instead waited until later in the day when things slowed down a bit to pick my stuff up. It was during this time that I decided to invest in my own Spidey-lanyard.

Crowds, Lines, and Wristbands (Hall H and Ballroom 20)

The line for bags and lanyards wasn’t the only big line at SDCC. Not by a long shot.

I’ve been to Disney World on a busy day before. I’ve waited hours upon hours in line for a ride at an amusement park baking in the hot sun. I thought this had prepared me for what to expect at SDCC. This was where I was completely blindsided (and trust me, you will be too).

You see, I feel like I’m kind of a naturally talented person when it comes to maximizing my time at a busy place. I can do 80% of Magic Kingdom on a busy day by making a good plan, booking it across the park, and not being afraid to be assertive if needed. At SDCC, I had to take everything I knew about waiting in line and throw it out the window. The lines there are NEXT LEVEL CRAZY.

Really want to see a panel at 2 pm? Think about getting there at 8:30 am so you can sit in the three panels before it to secure your spot in the room. Want to just walk in the front door to get in line for that panel? Too bad. There’s a line for that (called Everything Else), and it stretches around the convention center all the way to the marina. People have been in that line since before 4 am, so don’t you dare cut.

I’ll say this: the line situation is maybe the most frustrating and confusing part of the whole experience. Because of the sheer volume of people there, you’re going to need some luck on your side just to simply find the right line and make it all the way to the end before 200 people do the same thing. Lots of people try line jumping and cutting in line, and that’s the first way to make people furious at you. Apparently, someone tried cutting in the Hall H line and was literally shamed away by folks in line chanting “SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!” ala The Handmaid’s Tale. Lines are just intense.

Hall H, by the way, is the most insane line I’ve ever stood in in my entire life, and I’ve been to like every major theme park, experienced crazy flight delays, and attended tons of concerts. None compare.

You see, Hall H is the biggest room in the Convention Center. It holds over 6,000 people and is where the largest panels (think: Marvel Studios, DC, Westworld, Stranger Things, Dr. Who, Game of Thrones) bring out their creative team and cast members. While 6,000 is a lot of people, it is only a tiny fraction of the 130,000+ attendees. And A LOT of people want to get in. So much so, that for Saturday’s big panels (the most popular day) people started camping out in line Thursday afternoon. The group I ended up getting in with (more in a future blog) started camping out at 11 pm on Thursday night, and we were at about the middle of the line when we got in Saturday morning. Anyone who got in line after 8 am on Friday morning didn’t make it into Hall H on Saturday. That’s right: in order to get into Hall H, you needed to spend over 24 hours camping out and miss an entire day of the convention.

This literally blew my mind. One of the most coveted things for me was to attend Stan Lee’s panel on Friday at 12:30 pm. I also really, really wanted to get one of my Goosebumps books from the 90s signed by R.L. Stine at 2:30 pm on Friday. How was I going to do both AND get in to Hall H on Saturday, which was really the ONE thing I wanted to do at the entire convention? The answer: make some friends.

MAJOR PROPS to Curtis for linking me up with one of his friends, Dan, who had created a group on Facebook to wait in line with. SDCC has a rule that every 1 person can hold space for up to 5 people. So, lots of people will trade off with friends or acquaintances to hold their spot while they attend parts of the convention throughout the day. Dan and his group were gracious enough to let me join at 3 pm on Friday – a full 16 hours after they lined up at 11 pm on Thursday night. I took some shifts and helped watch people’s stuff to earn my keep. You can find your own groups using Facebook, Twitter, etc. I’d recommend FOR SURE doing this if you’re going to want to join the Hall H line for Friday or Saturday.

PRO TIP: At about 6 pm, someone came around the line with raffle tickets helping to count how many people were ahead of us in line. We were told that we held the ~520 spot in line. By the time we got our wristbands around 9:30, we were well after 2,000 in line due to people holding spaces.

What’s a wristband? Comic Con provided the first several thousand people in line a wristband for Hall H each day. Once you’re wrist-banded the night before, you’re invited to say in line and camp out or return to your hotel. 95% of people stay in line. For those who return to their room, they must be back in line no later than 7:30 am to be guaranteed a spot in the opening panel that day.

This year there were some major issues with the wristbands on Saturday. People who showed up on time didn’t get in to the exhibit hall, apparently due to counterfeit wristbands. I’m not sure what they’ll be doing next year, but I bet there will be tweaks announced to the wristband process in the weeks leading up to SDCC.

Schedule and App

Part of the craziness of the whole thing to me was that the schedule wasn’t released until just a few weeks before the event. So, you have to shell out money for your badge, flight, and hotel months before the schedule is announced! For some, this may be a wild gamble.

I’m not going into too much detail here about the schedule because it changes every year, but essentially here’s some basics:

  • Hall H and Ballroom 20 are usually busiest on Friday and Saturday. If you want to get into those panels, expect to camp out for multiple nights.
  • Conversely, Hall H had walk-in availability on both Thursday and Sunday this year. This may not be the case next year, though!
  • They do a good job of trying to put the popular stuff in the larger rooms, but again that isn’t always the case. If there’s a panel you REALLY want to attend, do your best to get there early.
  • There’s a ton of different stuff happening concurrently, so consider having one or two (or three) backup things to attend in case you can’t get into the one you want! Also, location is important. If your backup is across the convention center or in a different hotel, it may be nearly impossible for you to make it from one to another in a decent amount of time.

In order to keep track of your schedule, SDCC has something called MySched. This is separate (for some silly reason) from your actual Comic Con ID, so you’ll need to create a new username and password just to save your schedule. You can access it in your favorites on an app, which released the updated schedule just a week or so before the convention started.

The app was terrible. Atrocious. An embarrassment. It was very hard to navigate, tough to find what you were looking for, and laid out very poorly. Also, the sponsor (some new show on NBC) had an ad overlay EVERY TIME you opened the app. I’ve been to lots of other events who’ve used apps ten times better than SDCC did. So, if you’re attending, expect to use the Quick Guide’s printed schedule as it is much handier than the app itself.

Off-Site Events

If you take nothing else from this post (and I know it is looooong), remember this: there’s this whole separate part of SDCC that you’d never know about if it wasn’t for the internet. I’m talking about the off-site events which are peppered around the city. Somehow I arrived in San Diego completely clueless about this, and wished I had spent some more time doing research on what was available.

Off the top of my head, there were offsite events featuring Westworld, IMDb, SyFy, Kingsman, FX, Kong: Skull Island, Adult Swim, Blade Runner 2049, IT, MTV, and Netflix. That is just the tip of the iceberg! You could conceivably come to SDCC without a badge and spend time doing ONLY off-site events and not do all of them.

That’s because, you guessed it, the lines for these are insane. Some are top secret and exclusive, like Westworld’s undisclosed location and limited guest list each day. Others wrapped around the block for hours with no guarantee of freebies (apparently Netflix would just randomly give out things to people, it was not first come-first serve). Plenty are right outside of the convention center with their own hours and line rules. You should absolutely do some research on the off-site events before arriving at SDCC as the convention doesn’t publish much information (if any) for most of them.

It can all get a little confusing. If you’re looking for a smooth experience for your first SDCC, I’d recommend picking just one or two off-site experiences you want to test out because there’s just no way you’re going to be able to do all of them! Some got more popular as the weekend went on, and others less popular. Checking Twitter for line updates is a good way to go.

Exhibit Hall

I’ll say up front that I could have easily spent like four more hours in the Exhibit Hall than I did, and I was in there for about six hours or so throughout the Con. It is MASSIVE. Think “Black Friday at Wal-Mart in 1998 getting a Tickle-Me-Elmo” style crowds as far as the eye can see. Fortunately, they sort of break it up into sections.

There’s a spot for Silver and Gold age comics (old, expensive books), another for the Artist’s Alley where you can meet artists and commission sketches, and a whole wall just for video games. They also spread some of the bigger displays out a bit by having Lego, Hasbro, Netflix, Marvel, etc. spaced far enough apart so lines don’t start blending into each other.

From what I could tell, almost all of the booths took credit cards through Square. For autographs in booths, all required cash. There were ATMs in the Convention Center which allowed you to make withdrawals for a $3.50 service fee – something I was really grateful for on the last day when Stan Lee did a surprise signing.

If large crowds, long lines, loud noises, or flea-market like shopping isn’t your thing – you may want to steer clear of the Exhibit Hall.

I don’t suggest skipping it though! There are so many cool things to do, funny cosplayers to see, and unique pieces of art to peruse. Plan to spend at least half a day in the Exhibit Hall. I spent most of my time in there on Sunday and didn’t feel like things were super picked-over that I wanted to see, plus there were even some sales going on from booths trying to clear inventory.

Food

If your favorite mall kiosks are Auntie Anne’s Pretzels and Mrs. Field’s cookies, you’re going to love SDCC because they are literally everywhere. However, if you’d like some actual protein or anything fresh in your diet – you’re going to need to plan ahead a bit.

There are some general concession stands (think hot dogs, pizza, nachos) set up, but the lines were really long and the food looked less than appealing. I recommend grabbing breakfast at your hotel or bringing something small like a granola bar or fruit with you. Lunch was the hardest meal for me – so many panels ran during the noon hour, there aren’t really any fast food or fast casual places nearby the convention center, and even if there were it would take at least 90 minutes to fight the crowds to get food and get back. So, I ate a soft pretzel for lunch pretty much every day.

Dinner was a different story, as there are tons of restaurants in the Gas Lamp district adjacent to the convention center. We didn’t really wait very long for food on Thursday or Saturday nights when we went out to eat, so it was great to not have to wait in line for once.

I’d plan to bring some healthy snacks like apples, clementine oranges, or bananas along with some trail mix, sandwiches, and a water bottle with you for the day. There are refillable water stations throughout the convention center, so you can always keep yourself hydrated.

Packing List

Obviously you should bring some clothes and comfy shoes with you (I wore Chacos all weekend and was so glad I did). What else do you need? Here’s what I’d say are my essentials:

  • Snacks and a water bottle
  • A book or kindle
  • Portable battery charger for your phone
  • Black or Silver Sharpe for random autographs (you never know!)
  • Body spray/face wipes (especially if you’re camping out)
  • A Towel (something to sit on when you’re waiting in line)
  • Hoodie/sweater for the cold convention center
  • Hand Sanitizer (life saver), Kleenex, and advil
  • A sit-bag
  • Headphones
  • Some nerdy t-shirts so you’ll fit in if you’re not cosplaying
  • Lanyard so you don’t need to wait around for one on Thursday
  • Backpack or messenger bag (your preference)
  • A Poster Tube – even if you don’t think you’ll need one

Twitter

Last, but certainly not least, props to Twitter for helping to keep my sanity intact all weekend. Even if you’re not a Twitter user, I’d recommend getting an account for SDCC. There are tons of updates on lines, off-site events, special giveaways, and insider tips that you’d miss out on without it. Props to these Twitter accounts for helping to make the weekend much more manageable:

That’s it! There’s my run-down on what to expect at your first SDCC. As you can tell, there’s a ton of info (I’m almost at 4000 words!) and I still didn’t cover everything. However, this should be a great start to help you plan and manage your expectations!

What the Heck is Comic Con?

Last weekend over 130,000 (!) people arrived at the San Diego Convention Center for the 2017 San Diego Comic Con (SDCC) event. What started about 40 years ago as a relatively small  event – I think of it then as a comic book collector’s dream weekend of discussing their favorite superhero stories with other like-minded nerds from around the country – has ballooned into one of the world’s largest destination for all things pop-culture. SDCC draws people from every continent to experience the latest and greatest offerings from movies to television, video games to toy collecting, and book publishing to, of course, comic books.

When I say that 130,000 people is a lot of people… I mean it is A LOT of people. The 2017 SDCC was my first ever time attending, and I was woefully underprepared for what that number really meant. To make a long story short, most accounts suggest that SDCC was a relatively manageable event to attend until 2009. That year, the cast of Twilight attended “the Con” (that’s the in-group lingo for the event, I learned last week) to debut footage for their next event. Since then, masses of people who have never once read a comic book attend the event to see the latest exclusive trailers for upcoming major movie releases, gather hints for upcoming plot lines on their favorite television shows returning for the Fall season, or just to see their favorite celebrities “in-person” at various panel discussions. Now, the lines are so long and the venue is so crowded at times it is literally difficult to move. And yet, people come.

Separate from the silver and small-screen offerings, toy collecting is one of the hottest things at Comic Con. Several years ago, I remember seeing Funko Pop! Vinyl figurines for the first time and having no idea why anyone would want to collect tiny pieces of molded plastic with giant bug eyes that semi-resembled obscure pop-culture characters. Now, separately from my time at SDCC, I’m the proud owner of about a dozen Funko Pop! figures that I display in my home office. I didn’t pick any up this year at SDCC partly because there weren’t any I wanted, but mostly because people literally camp out in line for 12 hours overnight for the chance at a ticket to MAYBE get the SDCC-exclusive figurine they wanted from the Funko booth. Maybe.

For the lucky ones that do get their hands on some exclusive collectables at the event, there’s apparently a profit to be made. I heard someone in line behind me saying there are some Game of Thrones exclusives (retail price of $10) that were already on eBay for $200+ during the second day of the convention. Apparently, there’s people who attend SDCC solely to buy and flip exclusive toys for enormous profit margins.

Meanwhile, the rest of the convention exhibition space (where the toy collecting takes place) is a huge draw for many people to the convention. You could spend two entire days combing the half-mile long exhibit floor and not see or experience everything there is to offer. Nickelodeon had custom shirts for sale (sold-out daily in minutes). Netflix, Marvel, and Warner Bros gave away free posters and swag for their upcoming projects. Comic artists, writers, and celebrities did in-booth (and very lightly advertised) signings with “capped” lines. Hundreds of stands sold custom artwork, rare and valuable comics, used toys, anime DVDs, and offered video game demos. The most unique thing I in the exhibit hall saw was probably a large booth space which showcased items from the personal collections of Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher, to be auctioned off this Fall on eBay. Neat stuff, but pretty random to see a vintage Singing in the Rain poster at an event started for comic book fans.

Ultimately, at the core of SDCC is the fans. People come from near and far to have the chance to totally geek out with like-minded people over things that are oftentimes deemed too nerdy to talk about publicly. This seems like a good transition into discussing Cosplay (a term that combines Costume and Play). At least 1 in 5 people at SDCC donned a costume and strutted their stuff around the convention center. Think of it like another time, besides Halloween, where it is socially acceptable for grown men to wear full Spider-Man outfits, and for adult women to wear pasties and body paint instead of a shirt. Also, lots of Wonder Woman costumes (apparently replacing last year’s hot costume, Harley Quinn).

I didn’t Cosplay, but I did meet some awesome people. In the line for the bathroom (20-minute wait), I had an awesome discussion with two guys about the merits of Rogue One vs The Force Awakens, whether or not Valerian will someday be considered as good as the Fifth Element, and if it would be worth my time to watch Iron Fist on Netflix before the Defenders comes out in August. Ultimately, we agreed that people were overly harsh on some CGI effects in Rogue One, The Force Awakens was 10 times better than anything George Lucas did with the prequel trilogy, only time will tell about Valerian (none of us had seen it yet), and unfortunately, I probably should just power through Iron Fist.

As I was standing in this line, I thought to myself “damn, this is awesome”. Here I was, talking to two perfect strangers about things I’d normally be too embarrassed to talk about super publicly. There was no judgement over our difference of opinions, we were all coincidentally wearing different Star Wars shirts, and most importantly, I felt this immediate sense of trust with them. They’d spent the time in the long lines like I had, invested a pretty penny in being there, and were just as excited as me to see the upcoming panel (Warner Bros was about to premiere the Justice League trailer).

So, what is Comic Con? It depends on who you ask. For some, it is an excuse to turn a profit on toy collecting. For others, it is a way to score that autograph they’ve always coveted. For me, it was a chance to experience in-person an event I’d heard so much about and see for myself just how powerful the experience could be. What did I learn? What did I do? Looking forward to sharing that soon!

Chandler

In my last post, I explained a bit about how I arrived at the decision to get a puppy. Here’s the fun stuff: what our first few weeks have been like together!

When I got him home he immediately found a favorite spot in my house… Underneath the kitchen table (a.k.a. the toughest spot to try to pick him up from). I learned quickly that he loves squeaky chew toys, that gross fake spray cheese (string cheese too), and was not a fan of “walks”. We had a fun first few days, but I truly had underestimated the amount of attention he would need. Thank god he’s cute.

2017-02-06 14.58.47

Over the first few weeks, I really learned a lot about his personality. He’s really not super food motivated, but he LOVES belly rubs. This makes him lots of fun to cuddle with, but a terrible student for obedience school. He just started to LOVE going up and down the stairs which is lots of fun for me to witness… but I don’t have the same amount of energy he does to always keep up with him! He loves to chew and thankfully he pretty much only chews his own toys and steers clear of furniture, carpet, etc.

I also feel like I hit the JACKPOT with him because he has been really easy to potty train. I’ve been diligently crate training him. Sadly for me, this means no dog sleeping at the end of the bed. Chandler spends the night in his crate. And he does a great job with it! During the first three nights he woke up around 4:00 am and got my attention to go outside. Ever since then he’s slept great through the night with ZERO overnight accidents in his crate. The only times he’s gone in the house are when 1) I’m too preoccupied to take him out the moment he gives me a warning sign, or 2) I’ve left him during the day for longer than a few hours in his crate. It’s the little things, people.

2017-02-10 23.15.13

Other things of note:

  • He was NOT a fan of walks at first. I think he hated the collar pulling around his neck. I quickly decided to get him a harness, and so far that’s working so much better. Now he loves when we take a stroll around the neighborhood or the park.
  • Chandler is great at bath time! He stands still and wasn’t scared at all on his first visit to the groomer either, and his groomer commented that he’s got a great temperament. Another score.
  • So far he’s been pretty quiet. He’s barked a small bit when he hears something really loud outside, but mostly he’s just a super sweet guy. If you meet him, be ready for him to jump up to give you a kiss!
  • Last week he passed the behavior exam at Doggy Daycare. Yahtzee! This means he played well with the other puppies and can come back anytime he wants to. I plan to take him at least weekly for now to get him socialized and to help him expend some extra energy.

It has been an absolute blast having Chandler. I’ve got lots more that I’ve learned about being a first-time dog dad and can’t wait to use this space to share it.

2017-03-09 16.33.06

 

 

So, I Got a Puppy

Last month, I adopted a puppy. The decision as a little spur of the moment… I knew I wanted a dog, but I wasn’t sure of exactly when to pull the trigger. I’ve been ready for some companionship around my place, and I’m feeling really settled into my career and my home. Although I have been researching breeds for a few years and talking about getting a puppy semi-seriously since I bought my condo last May, the final decision to bring home my dog was made during the third quarter of the Super Bowl. By noon on Monday, I was driving home with my puppy in the back seat.

2017-02-06 12.44.14
Moments after picking him up!

Let me back up a bit and overshare a bit about my allergies. I’m allergic to pretty much every animal there is. I’ve found that cats and horses tend to be the worst. We’re talking eyes swelled shut, nose running like a faucet, funky rashy skin, chest so congested I can’t breathe kind of allergies. Some dogs get me there too. But, I’ve noticed more and more in recent years that my allergies do pretty well with “hypo-allergenic” dogs. Not 100% perfect – I need to be diligent about washing my hands, keeping my place vacuumed/dusted, etc. and I take a daily allergy pill just to keep things in-check. I overshare all of this information to tell you: I can’t have just any animal in my home.

Also, I wanted to be picky about what type of breed I wanted to get. Something too small just didn’t feel right for me. I also live in a >1,000 sq. ft. condo, so a giant dog wasn’t a good call either because I don’t have a big house or yard. Because of my allergies (and because I’d rather not have to vacuum every single day), it was important to find a dog with hair instead of fur to cut down on excessive shedding. I also wanted a dog who I could train without an insane amount of effort, because I refuse to let my condo smell like pee. It’s the little things, people.

Somehow I settled on a Wheaten Terrier. They’re terriers, so they’ve got some character flaws (diggers, runners, barkers) – but they also fit every piece of criteria I listed above. I’m 100% for the #AdoptDontShop movement, but sadly I couldn’t guarantee a forever home to a dog that didn’t mesh well with my allergies. [Note: so far so good on the allergy front with Chandler. Score!]

What I learned that it’s HARD to find Wheaten Terriers near where I live. Seriously! I’ve been casually looking since last summer and had a few moments of weakness where I almost drove 10 hours to New Jersey or Southwestern Missouri to pick one up. Then, during the Super Bowl after only a few beers and two bowls of Doritos, I found Wheaten Terrier puppies in Plymouth, MI. That’s only two hours from me!

Like a crazy person, I texted the breeder at 10 pm. She texted back right away, we exchanged some pictures and information, and I made tentative plans to just visit and look on Monday morning. At 11 pm I was in the car on the way to Meijer to buy chew toys, a dog bed, a crate, treats, a collar, leashes, training pads, and waste bags. I thought the Falcons had the game under control (wrong), Lady Gaga had already jumped off the roof (crazy), and I just couldn’t wait. I knew I was bringing him home with me the next day.

When I met the breeder, there were three adorable puppies there. I wanted a boy, and she brought up two boys and a girl just to show me who was there. The second boy was adorable, but about two weeks younger than the little guy I decided to take home. I felt like it made more sense for him to get a bit more time with his mama to grow and learn before someone took him home. Lucky for me, I picked up Chandler.

2017-02-06 16.21.36-1

Looking forward to sharing more about our first month together in an upcoming post! Also, if you read this far then special treat for you: I’ve been keeping up a separate Instagram for Chandler’s adventures. Check it out here.

I don’t want you to join a fraternity (or sorority).

I don’t want you to join a fraternity or sorority.

If you’re reading this and you’re not already affiliated with a fraternity or sorority, please know that you’ve probably made the right decision. While I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the fraternity experience has done wonders for me, I want you to know what you’d be getting yourself into. The years of bickering and arguing about the importance of “traditions.” The mandatory events and meetings conveniently scheduled to overtake half of your week. The expenses that somehow seem to rise exponentially each semester. Seriously, if these things sound daunting to you then you shouldn’t join a fraternity or sorority.

Sure, you could make lifelong friends. But is it worth the effort? You’d have to actually take out your earbuds, stop snapchatting your high school friends, and put your phone away to engage in a good conversation with a fraternity man or sorority woman. That is probably too hard for you. It is so much easier to blend into the crowd, have one or two buddies you’ll meet in your residence hall, and throw back some Natty Light with them until graduation. There’s really no need to step outside of your comfort zone, meet new and diverse people, and bond over shared values and beliefs. You’d be much better off staying out of the Greek system, sticking with your old friends and old habits.

If you were to join, you’d have even more opportunities to excel scholastically. But do you want to try that hard? Who needs the support of other students who have experienced the same classes, professors, and programs? I have been out of school a while, but I bet that ratemyprofessor.com still has the same benefit for way less money. If you fall behind in a class or have a rough semester, you’d be able to get along just fine without a fraternity or sorority to provide support. One meeting with an academic advisor and a quick skim of a BuzzFeed article on study skills will have you on your way to a 4.0 before you know it! Honestly, I know too many members of fraternities and sororities who have failed out of school because they decided to major in drinking, drugs, and one-night-stands instead of keeping focus in their major. It would be too much work for you to balance your social schedule and your academics. Who came to college for a challenge?

Of course the skills you’ll gain as a leader could be useful someday. But wouldn’t you rather find other ways to beef up your résumé? There’s plenty of other ways to build leadership experience. Why pick a one-stop shop for leadership opportunities with access to amazing nationally-recognized programs when you can pick up a few books or maybe join a student organization or two? Never mind that most fraternity and sorority members are encouraged (or required) to join another student organization. You don’t need anyone telling you what to do. College isn’t about rules or accountability, and there will be plenty of time to develop leadership skills later.

A benefit of being part of a fraternity or sorority is definitely being able to give back to important causes. But don’t you have your own expenses to take care of? College is expensive. Your bills could include rent, groceries, cell phone, utilities, beer, car insurance, gas, clothes, and spring break. Would you even want to try to give ten extra bucks to help find a cure for cancer? And who wants to give up precious weekend hours for community service? Someone else can build that Habitat home. Obviously you don’t need to even be in a fraternity or sorority to perform service or philanthropy. Plenty of college students do it. But I’m sure you’ve got other things on your plate.

If I’m being blunt, here’s why I really don’t want you to join a fraternity or sorority: I’ve worked too hard to let someone like you be part of the problem. We’ve got enough members who decide to quit two years after they’ve taken their “lifelong” oath, or who join for the toga parties and “funny” hazing. I don’t want you to join if you’re not willing to be part of the solution.

What solution am I talking about? I’m not talking about values congruence, which is a term we’ve coined to describe an expectation that today’s college students sit around and discuss ways to make values statements from the 1800s applicable today. Instead, I’m talking about just being a decent and responsible adult and student. That means wanting to build new friendships and striving to be the brightest student in the classroom. It also means wanting to challenge yourself to be a better leader on campus and in your community. This is a lifestyle your fraternity or sorority expects you to adopt for more than just the four or five years you’re in college. We want you to be a change agent. We want you to redefine the way the world views North American college fraternities and sororities. Can’t commit? Then I wish you luck. I don’t want you to join a fraternity.

 

Not Just Another Month

When the calendar rolled over to May this year, I knew I’d be spending more than a few nights away from my pillow. For months I had been committed to facilitate both the campus session of LeaderShape for Central Michigan University and The Journey: Delta Sigma Phi. While I anticipated the typical facilitator experiences – meeting new friends, creating new memories, and developing new methods to avoid camp food – in no way was I prepared for the amount of personal growth and learning I was about to experience for myself.

I was also unprepared for how hard it would be to have no pizza.
I was also unprepared for how hard it would be to have no pizza.

Saying yes to LeaderShape was a no-brainer. After serving as the Program Coordinator for last year’s AFLV West Coast session at UCLA, I had been dying to dive into the curriculum to connect deeply with my own group of students. Not only did LeaderShape provide me the chance to facilitate an eye-opening and life-changing experience for the students I encountered, it helped open my eyes to my passion for higher education and student leader development.

Challenging students to discover their vision was a highlight of the week.
Challenging students to discover their vision was a highlight of the week.

I could probably fill pages about what I learned from each of the individuals I encountered that week, but a quick summary will have to do. The importance of discovering your vision early in life can help shape the direction of where you’re headed. LeaderShape is designed to help students identify their core values and to create a vision that will aid in making the world a just, caring, and thriving place. Admittedly, I was skeptical of the program’s ability to accomplish visioning work for a group of students who attend the “number seven sexiest party school in the country“. Fortunately I couldn’t have been more wrong.

What if bullying didn’t exist? What if all young girls felt beautiful and confident in their own skin? What if no children had cancer? These questions and more were considered by members of my “cluster family”, The Calypso Cluster. Their visions for the future were nothing short of inspiring, and I feel incredibly blessed for the chance to have coached them through their visioning process. They taught me so much about myself, and I’m happy that my sarcastic disposition didn’t scare them off too much.

I'll never watch The Wolf of Wall Street and not think of these crazy kids.
I’ll never watch The Wolf of Wall Street and not think of these crazy kids.

The work connecting with the curriculum was special, but what was equally as important for me that week was building friendships with the rest of the staff team. I learned so much from our co-leads Dana and Sam, and feel that I found true friends in Mike, Kiki, Jazz, and Jon. I remain inspired by our on-site coordinators Lydia and Dan who are quiet leaders that impact and influence their peers through their daily actions. Picking up my friendship with Jesi right where we left off a few years ago was also a highlight of the trip, and I am incredibly impressed with the work both she and Dan Gaken are doing with the Central Michigan University Leadership Institute.

Just a few of the greatest people you'll ever meet.
Just a few of the greatest people you’ll ever meet.

As if LeaderShape wasn’t enough of a boost for the month, somehow I was also given the incredible opportunity to co-lead The Journey: Delta Sigma Phi to Honduras last week. There aren’t really words to describe how this experience challenged and changed the 16 of us who made the journey to Central America, but I’ll try to explain our adventure for eager readers.

Landing in San Pedro Sula, it was immediately clear that the language barrier was real. Fortunately for Delta Sig, one of our undergraduate members spoke Spanish fluently and was an incredible asset as we worked to build community with those around us. Through daily service, nighttime discussions, and cultural experiences, our group embarked on a journey that would open our eyes to many things we rarely, if ever, think about.

We spent the week with views like these.
Day One: Both brothers and strangers

The most impactful part of the week for me was discovering the difference between wants and needs. Prior to the trip I would have said that in order to live, I need electricity, running water, a kitchen, air conditioning, and wifi in whatever home I chose to live in. To me these are essentials, and I could not imagine living without them. After spending a week building a house with only four wooden walls and a tin roof for a single father, my perspective has changed. Yes, I will hopefully always live in a home with nice amenities. However, I am much more aware of my privilege to hold a job that supports my ability to live in a home that cool in the summer, warm in the winter, and provides hot showers.

The House Delta Sigma Phi helped to build
Day Five: The house Delta Sigma Phi helped to build

Another huge takeaway from the week was just how happy the Hondurans were. My expectation coming in was to find people living in poor conditions who were hoping to find their golden ticket out of poverty. Instead, I was shocked to find people who have very few physical possessions yet some of the most positive dispositions I’ve ever encountered.

One of the students on the trip made a great observation that in the United States it seems like the more you have, the more you want. You get an iPhone 5 and a year later wish you could have the 5S. You buy a new car, but still wish you had a bigger TV. In Honduras, the things that matter most are family and God. They’re not out for material possessions or big promotions. Instead they’re about supporting each other and building a strong community.

Fernando was everyone' favorite friend. Watching him scale a 30 foot palm tree to get us coconuts was awesome.
Fernando was everyone’s favorite friend. Watching him scale a 30 foot palm tree to get us coconuts was awesome.

To say this experience was humbling is an understatement. I met the most incredible and beautiful children who helped us complete our house construction. I hiked down a gorgeous river and planted trees on the side of a mountain in the jungle. I ate fruit fresh off the tree and attended church service in a foreign language. I zip-lined over and climbed under the most breathtaking waterfall I could ever imagine. I survived on cliff bars, goldfish, and applesauce for six days. And I’m not the same person I was when I left.

Pictures of this waterfall could never do it justice.
Pictures of this waterfall could never do it justice.

I wish that programs like LeaderShape and The Journey could be experienced by everyone. There’s much to be gained through the visioning work and tough conversations facilitated by LeaderShape, and so much possibility for a new outlook on the world through cultural immersion programs like The Journey. I find myself wishing that my family members, college roommates, grad school cohort, and even casual acquaintances had access to the type of opportunities I had this May. I am fortunate to have had the chance to experience and facilitate each of these incredible programs, and am thankful to the students and fellow facilitators who helped provide me the chance to learn and grow.

The Post You’ve Been Waiting For

The secret’s out: I’m not a great long-distance friend.  Lots of folks have been promised updates of greater length than a text, Tweet, or SnapChat and I’ve chosen to take the easy way out with a one-size fits all blog post.  I know it may not be the promised phone call, but I hope you enjoy!

If you’re way out of the loop, then you need to know that I finished up my Master of Arts in Higher Education Administration at Ball State University last July.  Just before graduation I made the move from Michigan via Indiana to Fort Collins, CO.  Never in my life had I ever considered Colorado as a potential landing spot for my first post- grad school job, but I was lucky enough to be in a right-time, right-place scenario.

Little did I know how much "fun" I'd have driving this thing.
Little did I know how much “fun” I’d have driving this thing.

Working with non-profit association volunteers and events, I have almost been with Synergos, AMC for a year.  Currently I work heavily with the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors and the Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values to engage both college students and professionals as a part of their Association membership.  Since starting last July, I’ve been fortunate to work with an excellent team with our company’s staff in the office and our volunteers who are spread across North America.

While my skills in higher ed have been put to good use mentoring some undergraduate and graduate interns at our annual conferences and providing thoughts to improve education in our  client programs, I’ve also developed skills in areas I hadn’t previously considered.  My job has helped me to become more adept at relationship development, gain experience with major events and programs, and create an understanding of the non-profit world.  I’ve also picked up fun tidbits along the way by sharpening my travel skills (I’m almost officially a Frequent Flyer), developing a general working knowledge of craft beer, and learning how to single-handedly buy $600 worth of groceries at an inner-city Wal-Mart.  If you’ve ever gotta do that last thing, consider asking for carry-out assistance and don’t bring a sedan.

This is what those groceries looked like.  Carried up a flight of stairs in the rain!
This is what those groceries looked like. Carried up a flight of stairs in the rain!

My job is great, but assimilating to life in Fort Collins hasn’t been the easiest transition.  Much of my initial struggle when moving here centered on my apartment: a 100-year-old and 300 square-foot studio apartment in a great location was unfortunately hindered by an extremely nearby (read: 20 feet from my bed) booming train and lack of working heat.  Without being able to get comfortable in my own space, I struggled to “buy-in” to my new community.  Fortunately luck worked in my favor this February when I found a less central but much larger space further from the train and closer to my comfort zone.  Moving to my new place has mostly been a blessing, but I’ve definitely discovered how quickly living on your own can add up… especially when you’re not in West Michigan.

I can’t say that I’m exceptionally “busy” here as I have been in the past, but I’ve fortunately made a few great friends and work with amazing colleagues who have helped to make Fort Collins feel like home.  If you don’t already know, making friends post-grad in a college town in your early twenties is tough and a constant work-in-progress.  For the first time in my life I didn’t walk into a classroom, living center, fraternity house, or cohort with insta-friends.  It has been a year of uncomfortable growth that’s pushed me farther than I once thought I could go, and I’m proud to say that I’m now at a place where I’m ok with my social life being in flux.

There are cool breweries to check out around here as evidenced by this tiny bike.
There are cool breweries to check out around here as evidenced by this tiny bike.

Lots of people like to ask “what’s new”, and it has become my dreaded question as my life seems relatively routine.  However, I’ve gotten to travel a lot in the last twelve months for both personal reasons and work.  I co-led a trip to New Orleans to serve Habitat For Humanity with 21 college students, supervised 35 graduate and undergraduate interns at three major association conferences in Indianapolis and Costa Mesa, re-engaged as a volunteer for Delta Sigma Phi’s Regional Leadership Academy in Santa Clara, and experienced the Northeast in February for the first time since high school.  I’ve been fortunate to travel home several times to visit with family and friends, and most recently was able to spend time with much of my family in North Dakota for my cousin’s high school graduation.  Also, I got to go to Disneyland!

Didn't meet Mickey though :(
Didn’t meet Mickey though :(

There’s a lot coming up this summer too.  In two weeks I’ll embark on a nine-day trip to Boston and Cape Cod where I’ll experience the area for the first time while being responsible for the planning of my first multi-day conference.  Immediately after that I’m returning back to Michigan to spend some much needed time on the lake with friends, and cruising the Westside to visit loved ones for the 4th of July weekend.  Later in July I’ll be at my first ever LeaderShape as the Program Coordinator at our session in UCLA, and I’ll be traveling home in August and September to participate in the wedding festivities of two close friends as their Best Man.  Clearly there is a lot to look forward to and a lot of busy weekends ahead!

I'm ready.
I’m ready.

Other random news: I’ve been marathoning lots of shows on Netflix, but I think my favorite will probably always stay Arrested Development.  I have now scored over 1,000,000 points in Tetris ten times over.  My new ride this year is a 2009 Ford Escape. Last Friday I went to my first TEDx event.  And, for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to get a season pass to a local theme/water park.

I already made Master Blaster status.
I already made Master Blaster status.

The door is always open in my train-free apartment for a visitor, so consider stopping on by.  Wishing all of my friends a safe, fun, and warm start to their summer!

The Emblem

I just read a blog post by my good friend and colleague Amanda about her week starting to welcome students at Rider University.  You see, Amanda is a proud member of Sigma Kappa. Over the past 13 months that I’ve gotten to know her, Amanda has shown me how membership in a fraternity or sorority can really impact your life.  She wholly exemplifies what it means to be a lifelong member, and I admire her ability to be “always wearing her letters”.  Jennifer Pierce too wrote a blog today regarding her sorority recruitment experience that made me reflect a lot on my own first experiences within the fraternity/sorority system at GVSU.  I wanted to share Amanda’s sentiments regarding a few fond memories I have from my days as an active member of Delta Sigma Phi and how impactful just a few words have been on the course my life has taken.

It’s January 2007 and I’ve just finished “Preference Dinner” at Snug Harbor in Grand Haven.  I had been pretty nervous and excited about this night.  It seemed like I had placed all my chips into the Delt Sig basket.  I had stopped attending recruitment events from competing fraternities, turned down a few other dinner invitations, and carefully selected a shirt and tie for my first of many formal occasions as a future fraternity man.  But I was still apprehensive… what if I did not get a bid?  What if the menu didn’t have food I liked (this is future blog post)?  What if I get asked about what sports I played in high school (none), what my major was (undecided), or if I had been considering other fraternities (yes)?

When I arrived at the dinner, I sat next to some guys I didn’t really now yet.  I ordered my food, settled down, and sort of became quiet as I listened to everyone around me laughing and sharing stories about the fraternity.  Eventually the topic turned to me, but I don’t remember the questions being overwhelming. In fact, they seemed to just make me feel welcome.  “Are you having a good time?”, “Can we get you anything?”, “Wow, so you ordered a Ranch Chicken wrap with no ranch, no tomatoes, and no cheese… what do you eat?” (they caught me).

Following dinner, a brother who I knew had been the former president of the group came up to me privately and fixed my collar.  My tie was showing from underneath and he wanted to make it right so no one else noticed.  He then offered me a cigar, as was the current tradition following dinner to celebrate a successful evening and new friendships formed.  Having suffered pretty terrible asthma when I was younger, I politely declined and my internal dialogue went crazy.

You didn’t smoke the cigar.  Way to go.

All the other new guys are smoking a cigar.

You should have taken one.

What’s the big deal?  Not everyone smokes.

So what if you have an ashtma attack?

They’re not going to pick you now.

Why are they even smoking cigars?

Should I just go—

Maybe noticing I had drifted off into the corner alone, a brother named Josh Lowe came over to me to see how the dinner went and fortunately interrupted this internal tailspin.  I told him that I had really enjoyed myself and met some nice guys who I hadn’t seen before.  He then too offered a cigar, but when I didn’t take one immediately changed the subject to my plans for the next day.  Josh asked if I would be coming to GVSU’s fraternity bid acceptance ceremony, if I still had any questions about Delt Sig, and what my plans were for the weekend ahead.  While I was answering his last question I heard a loud yell that would soon become very familiar…

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I looked to Josh and glanced around at the other new guys who were sort of standing there trying to figure out why everyone was starting to yell.  Josh motioned to “come on” and join in the circle forming in the middle of the snowy winter street.  There everyone was, 50 or so guys, jumping up and down in a big circle on top of the ice and sleet.  Without realizing it, there were arms wrapped around my shoulders as I was pulled into the circle, and I began to yell too.  Suddenly, the fraternity president jumped in the middle of the circle and made a motion that changed the chant to form the following words:

 A MAN MAY BE A VERY GOOD MAN,

A VERY GOOD MAN MAY BE, [SAY WHAT?]

BUT A BETTER MAN HE’S SURE TO BECOME WHEN HE JOINS A FRATERNITY!

HE MAY PASS THE TEST OF THE SECOND BEST

BUT THE MAN WHOSE BADGE SAYS   I    I    I

IS THE MAN WHO WEARS UPON HIS CHEST

THE EMBLEM OF THE DELTA SIGMA PHI 

[BOOM BOOM BOOM]

THE EMBLEM OF THE DELTA SIGMA PHI

[BOOM BOOM BOOM]

THE EMBLEM OF THE DELTA SIGMA PHI

[BOOM BOOM]

WHOOOOO!

The circle broke, the president announced instructions about where to go for bid acceptance the next day, and I stood there stunned.  What had just happened?! Josh must have felt my confusion as he looked at me and said: That, Branden, was your first emblem.  I pondered this statement over the next 20 or so hours leading up to IFC Bid Acceptance.

My very first emblem?  How many more would there be?  What were they even SAYING?  They’re badges don’t say “I I I”? Thank God no one slipped on that ice in the street!  (My risk management concerns were already bubbling and I had not yet accepted a bid).  But things had changed for me. Where I had been still a little skeptical coming into the preference ceremony of fraternities in general, I now felt a charged connection to the rest of the group.  My very first emblem may have sealed the deal.

I arrived on the scene on the following cold Friday afternoon to see if I had been chosen by my fraternity of choice.  Fortunately, I had.  And the rest is history.  As soon as the bid ceremony was over, the entire fraternity again rushed past everyone in the audience to claim the stage and perform what would be my second emblem.  I’m sure that over the course of the next few months I performed even more, starting to learn the words and yell them along with the rest of my new brothers.  I can’t find a video that isn’t private to share here, so you’ll have to settle for a picture from 2009 instead.

Image

Eventually, I would see other guys with the same quizzical yet excited looks on their faces leading up to and following their first emblem.  I would see their pride develop following bid acceptance ceremonies where Delta Sigma Phi, always somehow remaining the largest fraternity on campus, stormed the stage or arena with the loudest voices in the room starting out with the signature “OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” before launching into the chant.

I remember knocking over tables and chairs (sorry, Kirkhof) following chapter meetings as we probably disturbed everyone else in the building with our brotherhood cries.  I was even fortunate enough to take on the role of the brother who executes the start of the lyrics as chapter president, one of the most fun and exciting memories I have of this role within my undergraduate fraternity experience.

After becoming a fraternity and sorority advisor last year, and moving into my role this year working with fraternity/sorority professionals and students across the country, I’m prouder than ever to be a part of this great fraternity.  While I know that a lot of other chapters of Delt(a) Sig across the country choose to sing the lyrics of the Emblem of Delta Sigma Phi, I can’t wait to be back at Homecoming this October and share in this great tradition with the brothers of Epsilon Tau by yelling my heart out.  In fact, I’m putting that on my to-do list right now.  Just after my annual picture with Louie the Laker. Image

Summertime

Summer has officially started!

I just finished an amazing weekend with my sister Rosie and our close friend Haley who chose to come visit me in Indiana.  We had a blast exploring Indianapolis and seeing the sights of Muncie (for real).  It was sad to have them leave this morning, but totally worth the awesome memories.  Image

Since summer started, things have been busy.  Right after classes ended I joined several members of my cohort on an immersion trip to Atlanta.  The trip gave us a chance to visit an array of colleges and universities in the city, including Georgia Tech, Morehouse, Agnes Scott, and Emory.  Our group had an absolute blast and it is a great way for me to spend time in a new city and build relationships with my colleagues.  Additionally I got to see my old friend from college Ashley as we did all of the touristy things that Atlanta has to offer.  Last week also started my new internship at Phi Kappa Theta fraternity.  My internship focuses on educational curriculum and assessment initiatives.  When I wrap up at Phi Kap in June and finish my assignments related to the Atlanta trip, I’ll officially have completed the requirements for my Master’s degree!

Boom.

This week my apartment search for my upcoming move is starting to ramp up.  I got my packing materials this week (a little early) from UHaul… so the only detail left to plan is where I’ll be driving to.  One thing I do know is that I’ll certainly be seeing this logo a lot more in the near future!

Image